Thursday, May 17, 2012

Sharing Smiley360 Mission

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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Wooohoooo!!  Yesterday I got on the scale and I finally lost the last 3.7 lbs to bring me 100 lbs lost!  Amazing, just amazing!  I'm so psyched and amazed that I've now lost 100 lbs!  

I started this journey back on July 15th, 2011.  What caused me to do this?  Lifting a 50 lb feed bag and injuring my back.  I was flat on my back for 2 weeks, where I had pulled all the muscles.  I was sick & tired of being sick & tired!  This propelled me onto this wonderful journey that I'm on now!

As you know, I had my RNY on February 20, 2012.  Yes, I had complications, yes I spent 5 days in ICU trying to recover, yes I had numerous blood transfusions.  Would I do it all over again?  YES! In a heartbeat!

I started this journey at 329.  Yesterday I was 229, today I'm 228, so I've lost another pound!  Yes, I'm still having problems with some foods, so I'll stick with the basics until I'm able to do better.  Protein shakes, greek yogurt, Babybel cheese, pudding with added protein powder in it to boost protein.  I can eat a half a Bagel Thin grilled with cheese on it too.  Sometimes I can tolerate fish, sometimes I can't.  Day by day is what I have to do and what I will do.  

I took my waist and chest measurements today.  I'll do the rest later when Steven can help me.  But my waist has gone from 65 inches to 50 inches.  My chest has gone from 56 inches to 44 inches.  This is just amazing and sometimes overwhelming to me.  I was remembering this morning that after I had little Cliff, I was 228 lbs.   Cliff is going to be 29 years old this year.  So its been 29 years since I've been this weight!  29 years I've been carrying all this excess weight around.  It's really sad if you think about it.  I missed out on so much being as heavy as I was.  

But today is a new day!  I refuse to dwell about what might have been, just what will be!!  So here's to today, a whole new day in my whole new life!!  And what a great life its going to be!!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Plotting along

Well I'm at Week 7 and after a 3 1/2 week plateau, things are finally moving again.  I've lost 6 lbs so far this week, thank goodness!  I was really losing faith and wondering why I had this surgery in the first place.  A 3 1/2 week plateau of losing and gaining the same pound is absolutely maddening.  

I've pretty much gone back to basics and have to admit that I think Steven is right.  I think I tried to do too much too fast and I've been getting the foamies or having to take some papaya enzyme quite a bit.  

I'm starting over with softer foods and will take my time from now on.  I wanted to try a little bit of everything and my pouch was screaming at me that it didn't like it one little bit!!  Okay, okay I'm listening now!!  

So shakes or greek non-fat yogurt for breakfast, a cheese stick or something similar for lunch and then mostly fish for dinner.  At least I know I can keep this stuff down.  

I'm almost down 100 lbs since I started all this.  It's just amazing to me that I've lost almost a whole person!!  

I'm preparing for my trip to NY and have found some new things that I'll be taking with me.  I'm in love with Babybel cheese.  50 calories with 6 grams of protein for each one.  Pretty good!!  I also have some Pure Protein bars.  20 grams of protein for each one.  When I'm feeling as though I need something to "snack" on, these are a good choice.  

Well, I'm headed outside to get some farm chores done.  I'm adding a ticker to my blog so I can track how I'm doing.  

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Thursday, April 5, 2012

Plateaus suck!

I'm so frustrated!  I know its normal to hit a plateau but I'm now on my 3rd week of one.  I'm losing and gaining the same pound every time I get on the scale and there are times I just want to cry.  I was doing better losing weight before I had the surgery.  I've lost almost nothing since I had my surgery. 

My head is telling me this is all normal but I feel like a failure.  Nothing tastes good to me any more.  Things are so different than they were even 3 weeks ago.  I no longer am enthusiastic about my WLS.  

I can't do much exercising because I broke my ribs on Sunday but even still, you think something would give.  I guess maybe I'm getting into a depression.  I was hoping to be down to 220 by the time I left to go to NY on May 5th.  That's definitely not going to happen.  I'm even dreading going to NY now.  

What a head game this weight loss is.  I guess all I can do it keep on keeping on and hope for the best.  To be in a stall for 3 weeks is so damn depressing.  I just want to cry.  :(

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

One Month Anniversary of My Surgery!!

Well, its been one month ago today since I had my surgery.  Wow how things have changed in a month!  I'm down to 236 lbs, feeling pretty good most of the time, and able to eat some real food without too much trouble.

A lot of my clothing is way too big and falling off.  I was in Food Lion two days ago and had on a pair of my favorite shorts.  All the sudden I felt them sliding down my butt! Yikes! Of course it didn't help that I had my cell phone in my pocket that was dragging them down as well.  

Guess its time to get rid of those shorts.  Darn they were comfortable!  I took my measurements the other day because I seem to be in a bit of a stall.  My waist has gone from a 65 to a 51.  My bust has gone from a 58 to a 46.  Its just amazing!

I look at myself in the mirror and I can't see that I've lost almost 100 lbs since July.  Every one else sees it.  I guess I have body dysmorphia.  One day I'll be able to see the "real" me in the mirror, I suppose.  

For now, I'm just glad to be able to be healthy and happy.  I'm down to only one med, my nighttime maintenance of insulin.  I'm not taking much and it may be DC'd at my doctor's appointment on Thursday.  We'll see!

Here's to health!!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Down, down, down!!

Feeling pretty good today, still have gastric distress but I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday.  I'm living on Imodium and Fibercon tablets.  YUCK!

My weight is slowly going down and I'm down to 237 this morning!  Steven took some pictures of me yesterday and although I know that I'm losing weight (I started at 329), I have a hard time seeing it in pictures.  I know its body dysmorphia and I'll have to deal with it.

I'm doing pretty well eating, although yesterday I again ate too quickly and up came everything I had attempted to eat.  My pouch didn't feel good the rest of the evening and I went to bed early.  I had a protein shake afterwards but I still didn't feel all that well.  My blood sugar was even high, 187 when I went to bed.  That concerned both Steven and I but its down to 127 this morning.  I guess my body's under stress with this gastric distress.

Its raining on and off so I don't know if I'll be going outside today.  I guess I'll use my treadmill and get some exercise in.  

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Here I am...

I'm a bit over 3 weeks out and I'm losing about a pound a day.  I'm pretty psyched about it.  I have lots of energy and actually don't even feel as though I've had the surgery.  I'm sleeping better, eating well, making sure I'm getting between 60 & 80 grams of protein a day.  

I've had almost no problems with food except I learned what not to do.  Two days ago, I grabbed 1 oz of deli ham and sat down to eat it mindlessly.  Not a smart thing to do at all!  I got the foamies and then it felt like I had a rock in my pouch!  Not a good feeling at all!  

So I'm working on slowing down while I'm eating and paying more attention.  

Yesterday and today I've had a problem with diarrhea.  Not sure where the heck it came from but it's not fun at all!  So I have to stick close to home.  Tried some Imodium pills but they're not working so I guess I need to get some liquid.  Fun fun...not!

Overall I'm feeling really well and have been getting lots of planting in.  Life is good!!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

My surgery and aftermath

Well my surgery was on the 20th of February and I was so psyched.  So calm, not a nerve in sight!  Got to the hospital around 6am and soon afterwards Pat Cline joined us to tell me what was going to happen.

Things moved quickly and I was in holding waiting to go to the OR.  I remember nothing after that until I woke up in recovery.  Not sure of how long I was there but all the sudden I felt ill.  I asked for a basin to vomit in.  The nurse no sooner handed it to me and I started bringing up huge blood clots.  Larger than the size of a golf ball.  Then blood lots of blood.  I think I passed out because I don't remember much after that.  My blood sugars were over 500 and they were taking my blood sugars every hour.  

I woke up and was told that I had been transfused with 4 units of blood, that I was obviously bleeding somewhere internally but they weren't sure where.  My H&H was bottoming out and I was now in the ICU.  Steven was standing by my side, pale as a ghost, looking so scared.  I knew things were bad.

I don't remember Monday except a few slices of time, here and there and most of Tuesday is a blur too.  Two more blood transfusions on Tuesday. I was still bleeding and they were trying to find out where.  I guess they did a portable xray while I was out cold and they were concerned.  My surgeon came in and jokingly told me to stop starting trouble.  I told him that I would try.  I passed out.  

Wednesday came and I started having blood out both ends.  Two more units of blood, H&H in the toilet again.  Remarkably, I was in very little pain.  Tons of doctors came in to see me, to check on me. I couldn't sleep in the bed, so I slept in the recliner.  Every time Steven and Dillon came to see me, I could see the concern on their faces.  Dillon fell apart on Wednesday and told me that he didn't want me to die.  I held him tightly and told him that I would be okay. 

Thursday came and I started to feel better.  But my H&H still wasn't the best so another 2 units of blood to help.  I had begun to itch to go home.   I was finally able to get up out of bed on Thursday, still in the ICU and monitored closely, but at least I was able to walk around.  They did the swallow test and it came back okay.  They still don't have an explanation as to why I started vomiting blood.  They said it happens in .00001% of all patients.  

On Friday I was told that they were going to move me from ICU to the gastric unit.  I was thrilled.  By Friday afternoon, I was doing so well that I no longer had any IV's, my PICC line was out, and I was off all monitors.  I wanted to go home!

All the nurses were wonderful to me in ICU and I knew I would miss them but I was "stepping down" and that was exciting!  They moved me upstairs and the nursing unit said they didn't know what to do for me.  LOL  I wasn't hooked up to anything so I basically walked up and down the hallways trying to keep busy.  Friday night I didn't sleep hardly at all.  

Saturday morning, Dr. Bailey came in and told me that she was releasing me.  I could have done a jig right then and there!  Then she said she wanted to explain to me how critical I was.  She explained that I was as close to deaths door as I could get.  They were extremely worried because of all the blood I was losing and they couldn't find the source.  She told me about Monday and Tuesday and said that she was very concerned and she was in to check on me many times.  I was touched by her concern.  

When she left, I had some time to reflect.  I did everything right.  I lost 84 lbs before my surgery.  I stuck to my liquid diet as hard as it was.  I followed all the rules yet I still almost didn't survive.  But I did! 

Dr. Randy came in and chatted chickens with me and told me that he was taking me off all diabetes meds except for one.  I was thrilled!  He left and then the wait for the surgeon's office began.  Finally I had the nurse call to find out where they were.  She no sooner hung up the phone and they were walking down the hall!

I was out of there by 10am!  Woohoo!  When I got home, I got on the scale and saw I had gained 28 lbs!  WOW!  I knew I was swollen but never expected that much.  

I was home 5 days and developed an infection in my drain site.  Called the surgeon and they ordered liquid Levaquin. (YUCK!)  They pulled the drain and staples and on March 6th, they advanced my diet.  YAY!!  Food never tasted so good after being on a liquid diet for a month.  LOL

Now, to sum it all up.  Yes, I had a very difficult time after surgery. I almost lost my life.  Yes I developed an infection afterwards.

But would I change anything?  No!  I don't regret the surgery or the way its going to change my life. I'm 17 days out from surgery and I'm beginning to feel normal.  I have energy that I didn't have before.  I barely feel as though I had this surgery.  

This is my new life and I'm grateful for it!!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Well It's Here... My Day!!

Tomorrow's the day, actually just a few short hours away.  I have to be at JCMC by 5am. Of course, we're having a snow storm!!  Well it would be my life if it wasn't, as mom used to say!!

Today hasn't been a bad day .... well other than spending the day in the bathroom because of this bowel prep but I think its worth it.

No regrets, no last minute rethinking about this...just full speed ahead.  This is what I've been working toward.  I started this journey at 329 lbs.  I wanted to be 250 at my surgery date.  Well I've made that and then some. I'm at 245.2!!

Dr. Watson says he knows I can lose 100 lbs with this surgery. Well I aim to please!!  It's almost time to head to take a shower and then to bed.  I'll be back on the flip side.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Day 4 of My Liquid Diet

So here I am, day 4 of my liquid diet.  It hasn't been too bad because I've been sick since before day 1.  No food cravings, no real desire to eat although I do miss the chewing sensation.  When I eat some cottage cheese, I chew the stuffing out of it. LOL

And today, we went all the way down to JCMC for my pre-admission testing and guess what?? It's not until tomorrow!  OMG, I can't believe I did that!  But at least Steven got his knees x-rayed while were were down there.  I can't believe that I screwed up that badly!  

Six more days and my new life begins! I'm so excited, not really nervous yet.  I guess that's a good thing.  Probably the night before my surgery I'll be a mess!  LOL  But that's okay.  I'm going to be alright.  I have a great bunch of people who are all supporting me.  I know alot of people don't tell anyone that they're having the surgery but I felt that I needed the support from people so I told everyone!  LOL 

The support that I've gotten has been overwhelming positive with only a few people who have been detractors.  But that's okay.  I know this isn't going to be an easy journey but its MY journey.  Dillon's had lots of questions and I've been answering them as he asks.  

Steven has been so super supportive.  He's amazing!  My rock! As always!  Life is good!!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Approved & Got A Date!!

Things are happening quickly now!  I'm approved for surgery!  YAY!

TriCare approved me in 2 days! How's that for fast?! Holy Moly!  

My surgery date is 2/20!  I start my liquid diet this Friday on 2/10.  Time is flying by.  I'm so excited and nervous  and all those other emotions are getting in there.  This is the beginning of my new life!  I have a couple of people who are worried about me.  But I have done my research.  This isn't something that I decided on a whim.  This is something that I have been trying to have done since 2005.  If it wasn't for my accident in 2006, I would have already had this surgery.

All things happen for a reason and if it wasn't for my accident, I wouldn't be living here in TN more than likely so I'm not going to complain.  

I have almost everything I need for my liquid diet.  I still need to pick up a few things.  When I got the instructions for the 19th, I laughed out loud!  I'm going to be spending the entire day in the bathroom.  HAHAAHAHA

The bowl prep is horrendous!  But Oh well what can I say, it has to be done.  I'm going to have a permanent ring around my butt.  I'll bring my netbook and a tray table in the bathroom with me and just relax on the throne for the day and probably the night.  BAHAHAHAHAHA!!

My friend Jane had her surgery on the 31st and she had a complication.  Thank goodness they caught it.  She started to bleed internally.  But they caught it and she's now doing fine. She came home from the hospital yesterday.  She sounds like her happy go lucky self again.  I'm glad.

Fran and Megan are both having their surgeries today!!  I wish them both luck!  I told them to save me a seat on the Loser's bench!!
'Cause I'm gonna be there soon!! Wooohooo!

Watch out world, here I come!!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Saw the Surgeon!!

So late Wednesday afternoon, I get a phone call from Watson's office telling me that they're missing my paperwork and my psych eval from my files.  What? I brought my paperwork down there last Thursday myself and the receptionist said she was bringing it directly to Angela.

There lies the problem.  Angela either quit or was fired and no one could find my paperwork.  I freaked out. I contacted Tedd Stephens and I contacted Pat Hughes and went off.  Then I decided that I was going to go to my appointment anyway.

My stomach was in knots all night long, I didn't sleep well.  I went to my appointment, Steven went with me.  He's the best.  He's just been so darn supportive, I can't ask for anything more.  We waited about an hour and they called us in.  We saw Flo.  I was down another pound. YAY ME!  LOL

Then I was told that I needed to take a test. A TEST?!? Hmmm Paula didn't tell me there was a stinkin' test! I'm gonna kill her.  ROFL!!  So I knew all the answers and where the questions were kinda fuzzy, I explained my answers.  I aced it...of course. :)

Dr. Watson came in and talked to Steven and I.  Explained the procedure, the risks and benefits.  We set a goal for myself.  He would like me to lose another 75 to 100 lbs. That's great because that's exactly what I would like to lose too!  He told me that anything I lose after that (and its possible to lose more) would be great but he expects me to lose 75 to 100 lbs.  Woohoo!! 

I'm psyched, excited, nervous, and a whole bunch of other emotions are rolling around in my head.  

Anyway, they told me that my weight loss history paperwork is wrong and that I needed the right paperwork sent to their office.  I went to my PCP's office and told them to fax it to the surgeons office. The surgeon will send the paperwork to TriCare and we should hear from TriCare in about 2-3 weeks about my approval.  Right now there's nothing I can do but sit and wait......

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Paperwork turned in!!

Thursday we drove down to Johnson City and turned the paperwork into Dr. Watson's office.  So that's done! Yay!  I had to battle again on Wednesday with Dr. Chamberlains office to get the results of my pap.  She had them at her house. UGH!  What a relief that I never have to step foot in that office again.  Starting February 2nd, I start at Dr. Wayt's office!

In the meantime, I have an appointment on the 12th down at Dr. Watson's office at 10:30am.  Yes!  But I have to admit I'm a bit hesitant and even a bit sick to my stomach thinking about the surgery.  I was all gung ho about it before but now that the time in closing in, the nervousness is setting in.

I guess its a good thing that I'm nervous.  I've heard others say how nervous they have gotten before their surgeries.  My hands shake and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about it but I know that this is my best plan of action on getting healthy.

Steven is being so very supportive and that helps so much.  I don't know what I would do without his support and his love.  He's my rock, the love of my life.  With him, I can get through anything.

I've gotten together all kinds of stuff that I'm going to need on this journey.  I'm prepared, now just to get myself prepared mentally......